I want to move.
Asks: genetta (2018-01-21 05:33:39)
Good afternoon .. I live in Moscow. I'm 27 years old. I worked in a store. Two times. Then when I quit my last job, I wanted a change. In life. I thought for a long time. that I want to leave for some time in St. Petersburg. Straight obsessive mysl.Tak as a little tired of all. I wanted independence. Because I live with my parents. And I would like to be more independent. But it so happened that in early 2016. I wanted to still leave. And I wanted to learn a new profession. Even found courses in St. Petersburg. For three months. The close ones supported me. And I left. BUT as soon as I arrived at my doubts began. I was psychologically ill. I just wept. I remember the house. And there was a feeling that I made a huge mistake. And I decided to leave. Then there was a period for me when I fell ill .. and about a year I was treated. Here I am already recovered. And you know. thought about the courses. Do not get out of your head. But now this is a more conscious decision, that is, I realize that the courses will help me to master a new profession .. But while I'm looking for a job in Moscow. Nobody takes me. I already know from the beginning that I will not vozmut.Tak as probably the requirements are large.
You know, I'm already a little tired. such an impression that a vicious circle. I even can not go anywhere. I constantly think. Plus I have depression. You know, even I do not. how to be. I'm just at a loss. What should I do?
Good afternoon, Jeannette.
Moving to another city is not an easy task, it's stress, in which the manpower reserve is spent. If this stock is not available - the process of adaptation will be difficult. Therefore, before you move, you need to prepare. First, you need to understand that after a short period (usually six months) after the move, a "cultural shock" or adaptation crisis is possible. If before that time there is a feeling of easy euphoria ("I was able", "I did it", "I'm where I want to be"), then there comes a time when a person notices and negative differences of a new place from the former. At this point, people become more irritable, they are overcome by homesickness, some may become seriously ill, etc. Symptoms can be many - but during this period, these symptoms are associated with adaptation. Most often it is at this phase that people come back. What is most sad, usually when you come back, you have to go through the same process of adaptation again, because when you move, you inevitably lose something, and something has already changed and will not be the same as before.
Just like our body, if we move it to another climate, to another country, the snap will become accustomed to new water, to new food, to a new temperature - so does our soul need time to get used to, to master a new space (at home, streets), new cultural norms (differences in clothing, habits, etc.), new rules of communication and - to find new people in their circle of communication.
Therefore, the second thing you need to know when moving is that you need to be open to the new, to learn new things - that is, the soul needs strengths to see the world around itself, and not just look inside yourself. With depression, there are no such forces. In such periods a person is immersed in himself as much as possible. That's why you should first cope with this condition before you decide to move (and even before you find a new job, because the new job also requires forces directed outwards, not inside).
For these reasons, I recommend that you begin with self-diagnosis: there are tests - you can find them on the Internet - the scale of depression Beck, the scale of depression Zung. Pass them, please. If the scores in these tests are high, you should address not only the psychologist, but also the psychiatrist, because often in the case of prolonged depression, not only the thinking style but also the metabolism in the brain is reconstructed. Only drug treatment for depression is ineffective, because there is still a psychological part of this disease, associated with errors in thinking. You can read more here: https://www.all-psy.com/stati/detail/3569/1/
For a more detailed discussion of your condition and finding a way out of it, come to a consultation.
With the best wishes for you,
Chernyshev Ulyana. Consultations in skype and in the city of Moscow.
Probably your inner desire to "leave for another city" is your need to "separate from your parents" - "psychologically"! But - "to separate psychologically" with the help of a "rupture of physical relations" - not only unrealistic, but also brings unbearable mental pain. Therefore, it is likely that "having left on the positive with high hopes" - you will be forced to return, feeling pain and suffering.
"Psychological separation from parents" - it is possible (and necessary) to "work through" within the framework of psychotherapeutic work with a psychologist. Come to the consultation, let's talk in more detail!
Peter Y. Lizyayev, psychologist-psychotherapist.
Hello, Janetta.You see that doing, as best, you get worse (apathy and depressiveness). This means that it is not yet time to realize your ambitions. So, as you can not stand the pressure of society due to weak adaptation in it. Therefore, it is important to begin to assert yourself not by geographical residence and profession, but by asserting itself as a princess for yourself. By raising your own level of goodness and self-sufficiency. Only by creating a springboard for growth within yourself can you successfully survive and grow in the profession and love. city mira.Tak arranged chelovek.Poetomu, please start work on yourself, on the growth of its value, putting in the near future itself on the pedestal of full acceptance of herself as a princess and goddess for herself. In this case, dreams come true, and the state of apathy becomes forgotten exotics. Address, if you can not control yourself.
Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich, psychotherapist-psychoanalyst Volgograd.
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